


Not quite dead (you, me and the dreams we have sworn on)

by Alliwriteistrash, courfelicious



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: AU, Aged-Up Yuri Plisetsky, Alternate Universe - Guardian Angels, Falling In Love, Fluff, Guardian Yuri, Guilt, Humor, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Light Angst, M/M, Romance, Slow Burn, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-15
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-02 06:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11504055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alliwriteistrash/pseuds/Alliwriteistrash, https://archiveofourown.org/users/courfelicious/pseuds/courfelicious
Summary: Sometimes life gives you a second chance, but that comes with a price- and Yuri and Otabek are about to learn it the hard way. When destiny throws them together in an unlikely situation, they'll have to learn to thrust each other to make the best of it and achieve their objectives. What happens, however, when feelings begin to arise between the two?





	1. Misguided Ghosts

It was a moonless night in Saint Petersburg, barely any stars shimmering through the thick layer of thunderclouds plunging the world into a nearly complete pitch black darkness. The streets were empty, except for the occasional car that drove by. In the far distance, one could see the lightnings striking down and the thunder following it.

 

Yuri used to love nights like these – until that day. The usual calming rhythm that the heavy raindrops created while hitting the roof of the family car now made his eyes water. Bold and blinding lightnings, once intriguing, now turned him as white as a sheet. The cracking boom that used to be like a lullaby for Yuri, now sent shivers down his spine, and he could not find any rest.  
Nights like these scared the shit out of him.

 

And it had all started on that day. The Plisetsky’s had been on their way home from the local rink, picking up their son because of the thunderstorm warning. It had already been way after 10pm, his usual bedtime, but since he would be taking the next day off, they had allowed him to stay longer than normal. The Russian boy had already been dozing off in the back while harking the comforting voices of his parents, planing the following day with family activities.

 

It had been peaceful, and Yuri would give anything to live forever in that beautiful memory.

 

To keep himself from whining about staying longer at the rink until his parent had agreed.

 

To undo the minutes that had followed. 

 

But no one can do that. No matter how mighty, no one can change what has already happened. He would have to accept it. Accept the pain and move on.

 

Closing his eyes, he could almost see it all flash before himself.

 

How he had sat in the backseat, eyes halfway closed. How his mum had looked at him with a smile, so beautiful and warm. How his dad had laughed while telling a joke he had heard at work. Oh, how he regreted taking this all for granted. Demanding more and more from his parents and rarely thanking them.

 

The blinding light.

 

Being flung through the car.

 

Losing his orientation.

 

The deafening sound of metal ramming against metal. The shrill scream of his mother. And then, the silence. Silence like a piercing sound in your ear. Everything still and quiet. Feeling a cold liquid running from his head into his mouth, filling it with the taste of metal.

 

How he had called for his mother and father, voice rough from the smell of fuel leaking from the car. He had barely been able to breath. The last thing Yuri had been able to apprehend were the bright colored lights and the sound of a siren in the distance before everything turned black.

 

The next thing he saw was a pure white light. A deep voice, soothing yet warning, telling him that he had been given a second chance at life, but for that, he would have to help another person. A lost soul, close to the abyss, but still open for help. Yuri would have one year to change the life of a person for the better and when he managed that…. He would be given back his life. Fort that time his body would stay in a state of coma, waiting for his soul to return.  
The mysterious voice told him everything he needed to know to identify the right person. How only the chosen protege for him would be able see him and that this person could be anywhere in the world. For all this, guardians, as they were called, had the ability to teleport themselves. Although the Russian still had had so many things to ask, the light disappeared, leaving him alone.

 

The first few days he had searched without any rest, hoping for someone, anyone, to see him, but after nearly a month of looking he was close to giving up. Even if he got his life back… It would be without his parents, for they had died in the accident and their souls had already ascended into heaven. Nothing would be the same.

 

He would have to live with his grandpa, whom he loved dearly, but without his parents working he wouldn’t be able to afford skating like he used to. Not only that, but who knows if his body would still even be capable of skating. Maybe he would never be able to do what he loved most again, the perfect punishment to a selfish prick like him.

 

His eyes fixed on the ground, he walked down to the underground. Thousands of people use public transportation, so there was a higher chance of him meeting his protege this way than if he were to teleport himself everywhere. As a guardian, he still could sleep, but didn’t need the same amount as a living being. Besides, his insomnia always came back when storms like this were rolling - forcing his memories back into his consciousness.

 

The horrible weather was also the reason for the empty underground. Well not completely empty, one guy was there. Wearing huge headphones, a dark leather jacket and a sports bag on his back, with cold eyes. He looked like Yuri felt every day and for the first time in forever, he felt pity. What could have happened to him to make his eyes lose all their light?

 

Yuri wanted to move closer, talk to him, or at least try it, when the stranger suddenly took a step forward. Closer to the edge of the rails. And again. One could already hear the train coming closer.

 

In a split second Yuri understood what the dark haired man wanted to do. He simply couldn’t allow it to happen. As if his own life was in danger, he ran towards the man. Stretching his arms out to pull him back from the edge, he forgot that he could not help anyone except his chosen protege. But all of this seemed unimportant because his hands did not go through the body. Instead, he pulled him closer to Yuri, causing them both to fall on the hard and dirty ground away from the incoming train.

 

The stranger seemed more than surprised since he had not seen Yuri before. 

 

Anger rose in the heart of the Russian. How dare this man do this?! Not only try to take away his own life, but put the lives of others in danger as well?!

 

“What the fuck were you thinking?! Do you know how dangerous this was not only for you but for the people in the fucking train?! Don’t throw your life away like that!” he screamed, not losing his grip on the shoulders of the dark haired man for a single second. He would not get away this easy!


	2. Stuck on You

Otabek could not believe his eyes. There he stood. A young blonde haired man with eyes a cold shade of green, reminding him of a soldier. Someone who had seen the worst happen, but was still clinging to life. Brave and fierce but also suffering.

The strange man was shouting at him for what he was trying to do. On one hand he was grateful, since ending his life would only mean ending the possibility of future happiness, but on the other hand, this man had taken his decision away. Still, he could not be angry. Not in the way the blonde was.

“I was not trying to throw my life away... I was just careless and did not notice the incoming train”, he lied, hoping to leave this place without catching even more attention from others.

The Kazakh just wanted to go back to his flat. To forget how he had almost ended everything. But the blonde was not buying his lie. No. He even looked more pissed off at his answer.

“Don't you dare lying to me, you utter bastard! There is no way you accidentally wanted to jump in front of a fucking train!”, he shouted before standing up, pulling the stranger on his feet with him.

To that Otabek had nothing to say. He seemed to be able to see through every lie the black haired man came up with.

Thoughts were racing through Yuris mind. This had to be his protege and he was screaming at him. Insulting him. He had ruined his chances to work with him, kept himself from getting his life back. Urgh! He wanted to tear out his own hair! He was so stupid!

“Come with me,” said the Kazakh, not taking "no" for an answer and pulling the shouting man away from the train and the disembarking passengers. He told himself that the only reason for that was that he didn't want to be the center of attention, but the truth was that Otabek felt pity for his unintentionally savior.

Once they were in a quiet corner, away from the prying eyes of others, he let the shaking man go. The way the stranger showed his emotion was so honest and raw. Even though he was a stranger for him, the blond man seemed to feel for him. Had he perhaps lost someone like this?

After a few minutes of calming words and a hesitant patting on his shoulder he could breathe probably again. This definitely wasn't how Yuri had planned to meet his protege.

He was a mess and not even a few minutes ago he had been screaming at the person who was now comforting him. Everything was just so confusing.

“Okay, listen to me you... You idiot! I am here for a reason. And I know how crazy this must sound and look, but you'll have to bear with me. I am fucking dead okay? Literally dead! I died in a fucking car crash, but I've been brought back for a reason, and this reason is you. I am here to help you achieve your dream, whatever it is, and for that we only have about 11 months left. I know I must sound like some lunatic, but trust me. I'm not faking any of this or anything. Hell, I din't chose this!”, he explained, halfway shouting and walking up and down next to the dark haired man.

For a few seconds Otabek could only blink, mouth slightly opened forming a small 'o' shape. This man seemed to be having some kind of meltdown, maybe because of drugs? But one thing was certain, no one in their right mind would believe the stuff the other was saying. Maybe he had triggered something?

The unbelieving expression of his protege did not escape the Russian, either. Not only did he not believing him, he also probably thought he was crazy.

“You don't believe me,” Yuuri whispered, slowly losing all of his hope... Well, at least what had been left of it. He could not believe this whole ordeal. All this was more than enough punishment for whatever sins he had committed.

“Fine if you don't believe me, then at least follow me. Go on, ask anyone if they can see me, because I assure you, only you can do that, since I'm your fucking ghost guardian!”, Yuri screamed, taking the hand of the Kazakh pulling him towards a crowd of people.  
It took a lot of willpower of the Russian not to stop to enjoy the feeling of a warm hand against his own, something he hasn't felt in weeks. He never knew how much he could miss it.

Standing in the middle of the crowd, Yuri started screaming as loud as he could, surprising the dark haired so much that he put his hands over his ears. At first, he had thought the blond man was must be just crazy, but then he noticed. No one seemed to be hearing the other scream. No one was reacting.

“See?! I'm like air for them! They don't see me!”, Yuri explained, angry that the man he would be helping thought so bad of him. To prove his point even more, the Russian ran through the crowd, feeling the people walking through his body as if it was not there.

No one could fake that.

At first Otabek thought that he must have gone mad himself, but then, how could feel the touch of the ghost? If he was only been imagining him, he would not have been able to feel that, right?  
The blond seemed to notice that all this had been too much for the taller man, however, for he walked towards him again and took his hand into his own.

“I am real....you can feel it,” he whispered, suppressing the urge to beg the other not to leave him. He would not show that much weakness. Dead, guardian or alive, Yuri still had his pride.

The dark haired man could not deny it, no matter how much he wanted to. This man really was a ghost, and hadn't been for that long time it seemed.

“Otabek-”, he introduced himself, lifting the chin of the younger one “Otabek Altin”.

Amazement shimmered in Yuris eyes for a second before it hid itself behind the usual layer of anger.

“And my name is Yuri and you better memorize it or I won't help you!”, he demanded, trying not to show how relieved he was that Otabek seemed to be accepting his help - specially since he hadn't mentioned it was his own only chance of a new life.

With his usual serious expression the Kazakh only nodded before walking towards the train.

“So what are you waiting for, Yuri? I need to go back home, and I'm guessing you have to go with me, right? To help me,” he said without suppressing the slight smile that formed in the corner of his mouth.  
For the first time in what felt like eternity he had someone by his side who was willing to help him. Sure, Yuri seemed to be aggressive and moody, but he also seemed to genuinely want to help him, and how bad could that be? After all, if he was his guardian, he probably couldn't harm him in any way.

“Wait for me you idiot!”, the Russian exclaimed before following his protege, ignoring the warm feeling of happiness that started to overcome him. Finally! After nearly a month of hopeless searches, he had gotten a step closer to getting his life back! And just how difficult could it be to help someone achieve a dream?


	3. Let the Flames Begin

By the time they reached the apartment it was already dawning. The sky was bathed in a beautiful mixture of colours blending into each other, creating a breathtaking view that one could rarely see. Clouds, once dark and ominous for Yuri now were auspicious.  
Maybe it was just the sky changing from a storm into this peaceful nearly artistic painting of a world, but the Russian felt calm. Just like the city after this downpour, he too was feeling at ease.

Leaning against the open window he just watched the beauty in front of him, not noticing the Kazakh taking a picture of him. Well, at least trying to.  
The thing about guardians is that one of his kind cannot be photographed since their bodies are made out of light. The photo was just showing the landscape, beautiful itself but nothing compared to the real thing in front of the dark haired man. No sight of the blonde man whose hair shimmered in the dawning light like gold, more precious than anything on this planet.

Disillusioned by this, Otabek put his phone away. There was no way to document this, to proof that the person in his room was actually a human and that he had been hallucinating the people walking through him.

“So Yuri... I don't know about you, but I have to go to sleep. Make yourself at home. If you need anything, please help yourself,” the dark haired one said, brushing through his hair with a loud yawn at the end. This whole day was just a roller-coaster for him and he needed his rest.  
At least tomorrow, or to be more precise today, would be his free day so he could sleep in. He had to take care of everything he needed to and think about what to do with the young man in his flat.

For a few seconds he waited for answer but Yuri seemed to be to enthralled by the view from his living room window. Being the good host his mother raised him to be, he put some blankets and pillows on his couch, too small for himself to sleep on but sufficient enough for the smaller man. He did not know if the blonde needed to sleep but if he did he should have it comfy. 

A few moments ago the Russian looked tired - no - exhausted by everything but now... Now he looked almost jovial. Real happiness was rising in him. He was helping the younger man too, that much was clear, even if said one would deny the living hell out of it. Trying to ignore the need to protect Yuri he shook his head. Sleep would help him see clearly through this whole situation.

“Good night,” the Kazakh mumbled as he went to his bedroom, where he immediately stripped down to his underwear before crawling under his cozy blanket looking for some well earned rest.

Meanwhile, Yuri stopped watching out of the window. Finally the other was gone. He could let his guard down and recap everything that happened in one day. More than in the last month he was a guardian. He was already so used to searching that he felt nervous about this new, actual, mission. Helping the other.  
Shaking his head as an attempt to clear his head before starting to explore the flat. It was smaller than the one he and his parents lived in. As far as he saw there were only four rooms, kitchen and bath included. Enough space for one person... maybe even two. He did not know anything about his protege. Does he have a partner?

The taller man seemed to like living minimalist since he could barely see any decoration, something his mother always loved to do. There were no pictures of family members, no plants or filled bookshelves. The cold room fits the Kazakh. The black and white furniture was just as mysterious as its owner. Damn it! Yuri was intrigued by all of this. Just who was the man he was destined to meet?

Nothing here was catching his attention. No gaming consoles, DVD's whatsoever. Everything was just so impersonal, vacuous and dull. How should he know the biggest dream of his protege if said one was just so reserved! Was it too much to ask for some information about this man?! 

After exploring three out of the four rooms, only the bedroom was left. Curiosity may have killed the cat but damn how he wanted to see just a fraction of personality reflected in this flat. Yuri felt like being trapped in an IKEA catalog – no wait- even the rooms in those were decorated to look like a home! On his tip toes Yuri sneaked into the silent room, closing the door behind him.

Just as he thought, this was the only room filled with tokens. Clothes were thrown onto the floor, forming piles that looked divided into dirty and clean. A reminder to his own room, just as messy as this one. Next to the bed, big enough to fit at least two people in it, was a used looking laptop. Not even someone as nosy as the Russian would look into it without permission granted by the owner.  
His own laptop, waiting for him in his old house, was the most private thing for him and surely for his protege too. His whole life was saved on his latest birthday gift and the sheer idea of someone looking into it made anger rise in him.

Instead, he was satisfied with snooping around the CD collection of the Kazakh. Said one seemed to have a broad taste that seemed to fit Yuris own nearly too perfect. He even found his favourite album! If it weren't for the sleeping man he would play it immediately, but much to the bewilderment of many, the Russian wasn't that much of a dick. He just wanted people to think it so they would not bother him like they do with Victor or the Pig. 

At the opposite side of the room were instruments leaned against the wall. The only neat part of this room was connected to music? Strange. Some guitars, a microphone and other technical equipment. Was he a musician? Was this his mission? Helping him become a famous artist or did he only need a muse? 

Putting back everything to where it used to be he stood up, knocking the dust off his pants when the sleeping man in front of him caught his attention.  
After near a month long search he finally found him, the one person to give him back his life. Ironic how he had to help someone fulfill their aspiration just to get the opportunity to do the same for himself. But the other did not know that and he would make sure to keep it that way. Too big was the fear that he would distance himself from Yuri, thinking that he was a selfish prick.

With a sigh he observed the other man closer. 

Otabek looked peaceful while sleeping. His face so calm, no sign of the frown that adorned his face just hours ago. 

Without noticing at first, Yuri started to caress the hair of his protege, surprised by its softness. It looked to styled that he expected it to be coated in a thick layer of hairspray and styling gel. His train of thought was interrupted by the strange feeling inside himself. To feel another person, the warmth of their skin, the softness of their hair or the roughness of their hands, was something the Russian would never admit having missed.

The mere thought of telling someone that he, known for his aggressive behaviour towards anyone who dared to even look at him, craved the touch of a person made his cheeks redden.

This would be by far a too big embarrassment!

Still... Somehow he could not leave the side of the Kazakh.

He wanted to be close to the only human being able to see him, to feel him.

Telling himself that it surely is a side effect of being a guardian, he lay down as far away from the Kazakh as possible. Which was difficult, considering that he wanted to share the bed with said man.  
At first, he was happy with just lying next to him but after a few minutes he got bolder, more needy. As cautious as possible, he moved closer to the black haired one while still not touching him. Yuri could feel the heat radiating from his body and it calmed him tremendously.  
Who could hold it against him for wanting to be close to someone? 

No one! 

It was completely normal!

Fully lost in thoughts Yuri did not notice the eyes fixated on him. Not until a pair of strong arms pulled him closer to themselves.

“Next time just tell me that you cannot sleep alone. Now close your eyes, soldier,” Otabek mumbled. His voice husky from being awaken was sending shivers down the Russians spine. The Kazakh was far too tired to discuss the appearance of the blonde in his bed.

Without any idea how to counter, the blond closed his eyes trying to ignore the heat rising to his cheeks. Being caught was never something pleasant but after a few seconds it did not matter as Yuri fell into a deep sleep. 

...oooOOOooo...

It would be an understatement to say that the morning was awkward. Both of them woke up around the same time, interwoven. Yuris head was rested against the warm but firm chest of Otabek, whose hands were dangerously close to his buttocks. Meanwhile, Yuris legs were wrapped around the waist of the other.

In the fraction of a second they were sitting next to each other, both out of breath with reddened cheeks. The uncomfortable silence between them was broken by the shrill ringing of a doorbell.

Never in his life was the Kazakh as grateful for his postman than he was now.

Once Otabek was back in his flat, Yuri was sitting on his couch wearing something completely different from just mere seconds ago. It was not something of his closet or clothe-piles. Never would he wear such a bright purple coloured leopard printed hoodie and a pair of unholy tight fitting leggings. His whole looked just screamed 'Punk' and if it weren't for the adorable pink colour on his cheek he would believe him.

Clearing his throat self-conciously, Yuri started to break the silence.

“Okay listen up idiot. We need to start talking about this whole thing. I need to know more about you and especially what I need to help you to do to achieve your aspiration”

It was as clear as the day that this whole ordeal was extremely awkward for the younger one, but the Kazakh had the deepest respect for him to stay so calm. Internally he himself was a mess. He never had a stranger sleep in the same bed as him and especially never cuddled with one.

“Sure, but first I'll make some breakfast. Can you eat or are guardians unable too?” Otabek asked trying to get away from the topic as fast as he could. He needed more time to think how to make his dream sound cool.  
Being a medal winning figure skater isn't the definition of cool, despite it being his biggest passion. And how could a dead one help him, when not even his coach could make him skate triumphantly?

Breakfast went down rather easily. Both of them ate their cornflakes and fruits in complete silence, as if they knew each other for years. Comfortable with the presence of the other. Afterwards the younger even helped with cleaning, a nonverbal agreement of him doing some housework since the other had to provide for two people now.

“Okay, no more excuses. Let's talk about the future I am here to help you achieve,” Yuri demanded when he noticed that the Kazakh was trying to buy more time by cleaning the kitchen more than was necessary. Caught red-handed, Otabek sat down next to the blonde on the couch, mentally preparing himself to be a laughingstock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Both matthewilliams and I are on tumblr so if you want come and talk to us
> 
> Matthewilliams: courfelicious.tumblr.com  
> Alliwriteistrash: alliwriteistrash.tumblr.com

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Both matthewilliams and I are on tumblr so if you want come and talk to us
> 
> Matthewilliams: courfelicious.tumblr.com  
> Alliwriteistrash: alliwriteistrash.tumblr.com


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